QuickTwist
Spiritual "Woo"
We've all been in situations where people made life difficult. You bf or gf starts an argument, a guy buges ahead of you at the dmv, your kids don't agree with your reasons ect. Knowing how to handle these situations is great... most of the time. The truth is there is a darker side to knowing how to handle people, at least, for people who it doesn't come natural to.
I'm not going to get into all the different methods of how to handle people, that's not my goal here. I just want to give my perspective in how I handle people and how it has recently been affecting me in a negative way.
I am the type of person who is naturally blunt, curt, and even a jerk. I got sent to the principal's office on more than one occasion for basically demolishing someones self esteem. To make a long story short, i learned that it is not ok to do that so I had to make behavioral changes so I didn't come off so cut throat and abrasive. I learned that when you treat people like dirt, they feel like dirt. I've been treated like dirt before and I know I don't like it. So while my natural tendencies are to be an asshole, I learned that the golden rule "do unto others as you would have them do unto yourself" was more important to me than being a jerk. I also learned something else from these nice little sayings you hear as kids "give respect, get respect". With the knowledge of these two things I realized that I needed to change my behavior -stop being a jerk because some people are just more sensitive than you are
So, why do I tell you this? Well because I have found that I get treated a lot better now than I use to be treated. It came at a slow pace. I started thinking more about how I would feel if I said that really clever insult to that idiot - I put myself in their shoes. But lately I feel like its been more and more of a drag being nice to people. There have been some situations where I didn't couldn't and wouldn't have the liberty to be as good hearted as I imagined a well acting human being would do. You see I have essentially set myself up for failure by treating people good all the time. I overcompensated. I started to think confrontation is always bad and must be avoided at all costs.
Anyways to get to the real point of this conundrum. It is getting to be a real chore to be nice to people all the time. Its having an effect on my psyche that I don't like. Because I have realized that my respect for people is not infinite I have come to the well thought out conclusion that sometimes its better to not give a shit and just say what's on your mind. TBH, I'm at the point now where I get a little angry when I have to deal with someone who is such a delicate flower that I have to be sooo careful not to damage any petals.
Its not hard for me to admit my natural tendencies are to be mean, we are predators after all and I'm sure it comes natural to be an asshole for many people. The difference between them and me is that I put an insurmountable amount of effort into not being judgemental, being nice and overall, just a nice and caring person. So while the majority of assholes out there never give a second thought to holding in their need to laugh at someone incessantly, I have, and I have realized that its sometimes ok to be an asshole or at least just someone who doesn't give a shit about stepping on ants.
All this said, I can't imagine how INTJ or ENTJ psychologists must feel about having to be understanding all the time, I bet they feel pretty angry sometimes.
Anyways, that's all I really wanted to say. Had to get that off my chest because it was bugging the shit out of me.
/rant
I'm not going to get into all the different methods of how to handle people, that's not my goal here. I just want to give my perspective in how I handle people and how it has recently been affecting me in a negative way.
I am the type of person who is naturally blunt, curt, and even a jerk. I got sent to the principal's office on more than one occasion for basically demolishing someones self esteem. To make a long story short, i learned that it is not ok to do that so I had to make behavioral changes so I didn't come off so cut throat and abrasive. I learned that when you treat people like dirt, they feel like dirt. I've been treated like dirt before and I know I don't like it. So while my natural tendencies are to be an asshole, I learned that the golden rule "do unto others as you would have them do unto yourself" was more important to me than being a jerk. I also learned something else from these nice little sayings you hear as kids "give respect, get respect". With the knowledge of these two things I realized that I needed to change my behavior -stop being a jerk because some people are just more sensitive than you are
So, why do I tell you this? Well because I have found that I get treated a lot better now than I use to be treated. It came at a slow pace. I started thinking more about how I would feel if I said that really clever insult to that idiot - I put myself in their shoes. But lately I feel like its been more and more of a drag being nice to people. There have been some situations where I didn't couldn't and wouldn't have the liberty to be as good hearted as I imagined a well acting human being would do. You see I have essentially set myself up for failure by treating people good all the time. I overcompensated. I started to think confrontation is always bad and must be avoided at all costs.
Anyways to get to the real point of this conundrum. It is getting to be a real chore to be nice to people all the time. Its having an effect on my psyche that I don't like. Because I have realized that my respect for people is not infinite I have come to the well thought out conclusion that sometimes its better to not give a shit and just say what's on your mind. TBH, I'm at the point now where I get a little angry when I have to deal with someone who is such a delicate flower that I have to be sooo careful not to damage any petals.
Its not hard for me to admit my natural tendencies are to be mean, we are predators after all and I'm sure it comes natural to be an asshole for many people. The difference between them and me is that I put an insurmountable amount of effort into not being judgemental, being nice and overall, just a nice and caring person. So while the majority of assholes out there never give a second thought to holding in their need to laugh at someone incessantly, I have, and I have realized that its sometimes ok to be an asshole or at least just someone who doesn't give a shit about stepping on ants.
All this said, I can't imagine how INTJ or ENTJ psychologists must feel about having to be understanding all the time, I bet they feel pretty angry sometimes.
Anyways, that's all I really wanted to say. Had to get that off my chest because it was bugging the shit out of me.
/rant
