The I'm Not Making an "Ask (insert your name or gross mutations here)" Thread Club

[Inappropriate Behavior]

So keep your inane questions to yourselves you pustulating fuckwads!

To join this club you need to do 2 things:

1. Vow before us all to never make one of those threads.

2. Post your favorite...

Spoiler

INSECT PORN!!

Is that supposed to be a dog in the lower right checking out the hot action?

Members will enjoy the following benefits:

-Cookies every week featuring snickerdoodles
-A sense of superiority
-A coupon good for 20% off your next tire rotation at Bob's Lube*
-Weekly newsletters**
-2 tickets to our annual convention in scenic Detroit Michigan

*I am uncertain as to whether or not Bob's Lube actually does tire rotations or any other car services. In such case a coupon of equal value will be provided for one of Bob's other services.

**These will be printed on spiral notebook paper and hand delivered. I will require your physical addresses. You can trust me.***

***You can't trust me

 

[MissQuote]

May I join?

1. I vow to never again make one of those threads, but I cannot vow to never again answer questions in the one I already made.

2.

Spoiler

How does viscous lizard sex work for you?

3. I do not require coupons. Only cookies and newsletters with pun filled statistical articles and sundry data graphs on surpression of Ask Me threads across INTf land and the Internet at large, as well various updates on related and unrelated club happenings.

 

[SpaceYeti]

Do you like pancakes?

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Neither of you may join.

Spoiler

And this guy is loooking at you with um, intentions.****

****Human/insect inter-breeding porn will be accepted but keep it classy.

 

[MissQuote]

Ants are my favorite of insects.

I once spent a summer doing nothing much more than watching them crawl around and seeing what sorts of things I could entice them to eat (caramel gets them a little drunk) and which different colony and species on my back porch hated each other quite well.

 

[TheScornedReflex]

I want to join but an to lazy to find insect porn... Let alone post it. (I got distracted by people porn ). But I can vow to never, ever make a stupid ask me thread.

 

[MissQuote]

The thing I really learned about ants... I can squash them if they get too friendly.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

I want to join but an to lazy to find insect porn... Let alone post it. (I got distracted by people porn ). But I can vow to never, ever make a stupid ask me thread.

You can have a guest pass good for 2 weeks.

But no newsletter.

However if you can force feed enough caramel to ants to get them all drunk and bothered for MissQuote and videotape the results, you can have the presidency of this club*****

*****You do the newsletter if you do

 

[SpaceYeti]

Do you like candy?

 

[loveofreason]

Let me write the newsletters!

Does this qualify?

Spoiler

 

[SpaceYeti]

Do you play dominoes?

 

[redbaron]

Do you like daggers?

 

[Jennywocky]

I think it's unfair for you to call me a "gross" mutation. I might be unpleasant, but gross is way over the top!

... wait, did someone say "cookies"?

 

[Heisenberg]

how about this?

I solemnly swear to not make an "ask me thread"

 

[BigApplePi]

Neither of you may join.

May I apply for a job as bouncer even though I lack the skill?

 

[Solitaire U.]

I vow, but it's a hollow vow, as I lack the time, organizational skills, and self-confidence to conduct such an ambitious undertaking as an "Ask me" thread.

However, I must say that the pasta sauce was supremely successful! Opted for ground beef, and added a small can of tomato paste to thicken it up a bit. You sir, have my gratitude!

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Let me write the newsletters!

Does this qualify?

Spoiler

You're hired!!

New rule: Insect on carrot porn will now be accepted.

how about this?

I solemnly swear to not make an "ask me thread"

Uh, ok. You're in.

May I apply for a job as bouncer even though I lack the skill?

If you can rid us of Space Yeti and Red Baron then yes.

I think it's unfair for you to call me a "gross" mutation. I might be unpleasant, but gross is way over the top!

... wait, did someone say "cookies"?

AB blood types are gross, Sorry. There is no getting around that.

I vow, but it's a hollow vow, as I lack the time, organizational skills, and self-confidence to conduct such an ambitious undertaking as an "Ask me" thread.

However, I must say that the pasta sauce was supremely successful! Opted for ground beef, and added a small can of tomato paste to thicken it up a bit. You sir, have my gratitude!

YAY!

Ok you're in*****

*****New rule: praising my culinary instructional skills will get you in.******

******I must have actually taught you something. So none of your false praises you sychophants!

 

[loveofreason]

You're hired!!

New rule: Insect on carrot porn will now be accepted.

I'm so excited

If you can rid us of Space Yeti and Red Baron then yes.

My liege! Our isopod brethren have bequested special battle armour. Have BAP wear this!

Spoiler

Actually, this^ reminds me of Cognisant. Don't tell him.

 

[Absurdity]

1. Ain't nobody gonna ask me nothin' on no thread o' mine.


2.

Spoiler

INTERSPECIES

 

[Da Blob]

Yummie!

Spoiler

[bimgx=700]http://intpforum.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=1939&stc=1&d=1360816487[/bimgx]

Edit:

'disposable penis' surprises
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-21431678

 

[snafupants]

I'm really not sure what prompted the obnoxious proliferation of these self-glorifying threads but I solemnly swear never to create one.

Spoiler

Where the snickerdoodle at?

 

[TheScornedReflex]

You can have a guest pass good for 2 weeks.

But no newsletter.

However if you can force feed enough caramel to ants to get them all drunk and bothered for MissQuote and videotape the results, you can have the presidency of this club*****

*****You do the newsletter if you do

Sweet. Presidency...

*Reads small print* Oh, I'll just stick with the 2 week pass. Waaaaaay to lazy to make a newsletter.

 

[redbaron]

Blondes, brunettes or redheads?

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Obviously BigApplePi has failed. Time to call in a pro.

 

[BigApplePi]

Obviously BigApplePi has failed. Time to call in a pro.

Ask not what your Forum can do for you, ask what you can do for your Forum. Ask BAP

 

[Jennywocky]

AB blood types are gross, Sorry. There is no getting around that.

This is all based on a simple misunderstanding.
I'm actually blood type BA.

Little IB, little IB, can I come in?

 

[BigApplePi]

My liege! Our isopod brethren have bequested special battle armour. Have BAP wear this!

Actually, this^ reminds me of Cognisant. Don't tell him.

Wearing is far different than being. I prefer a cloaking device. In lieu of that a raincoat for flashing will be acceptable.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

A club thread about ask me threads...

Now then, for the OP: http://www.furnitureporn.com/

Furniture >>> insects.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

This is all based on a simple misunderstanding.
I'm actually blood type BA.

Little IB, little IB, can I come in?

*thinks about blood type BA*

Spoiler

Ok, not as gross as blood type AB (you really don't want to see what happens when I do). You may enter but I'd advise you stay away from the snickerdoodles. They're covered in...gravy?

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

A club thread about ask me threads...


Furniture >>> insects.

HOW DARE YOU?!

Most of that furniture was under 18 years old!

*calls FBI, gets lectured about wasting their time, hangs up*