Death of extended relatives.

[Chad]

It seem like deaths happen in weird succession in my life.

So far this week Both my First Cousin Husband and my Sisters Father In-law have passed away. My Uncle (which is my cousin's father) almost died (was found not breathing in his bed) two days ago.

I don't really "Feel" bad about it I just wondering why death always appears so close together. The last person I known that died was over a year ago and I think 3 people died with in a few weeks of each other.

Just wondering if you ever experienced this. Kind of wanitng to talk about it to help make it more real. I never meet my cousins husband and I've only seen my sisters Father In-law at her wedding. I feel that I should feel something at least pity but its seems like I am reaching for feeling that are not there.

 

[Cherry Cola]

I'm sorry to hear that

In my experience things like these take a little time before they become real. I don't know if you are, but don't feel guilty about not responding emotionally at first, it's a common phenomena. Could be some kind of subconscious defense mechanism.

 

[Chad]

I'm sorry to hear that

In my experience things like these take a little time before they become real. I don't know if you are, but don't feel guilty about not responding emotionally at first, it's a common phenomena. Could be some kind of subconscious defense mechanism.

Probably. I am sure my low emotional state in general is nothing more then a subconscious mental defense mechanism. I had a very crappy early childhood. However, my brain has completely blocked out this crap I don't remember anything since before I was 8. I remember being pissed when I was younger but I don't know what memories were upsetting me.

 

[redbaron]

I remember being pissed when I was younger but I don't know what memories were upsetting me.

Alcohol will do that to you

 

[Hadoblado]

I've only ever been upset by the death of one person, and I wasn't even close to them. I think I was upset because they were close to my age, which drove existential angst straight to my door. There are many people who's death would upset me greatly, but I have been fortunate enough to not have any of these people die.

I don't really "Feel" bad about it I just wondering why death always appears so close together. The last person I known that died was over a year ago and I think 3 people died with in a few weeks of each other.

Ordinarily I'd suggest that one phenomenon changes your attention so you notice subsequent similar phenomenon, but I don't think there's much chance you'd miss a death anyway (I did apparently have to be told of my grandmother's death twice, but we weren't close and I am terribly forgetful).

Which leaves expected statistical abnormality, some sort of variable that is causal to all the deaths (though I think you'd notice such a thing), or synchronicity (if you're into that). I'd put my money on the first option.

 

[Double_V]

My grandfather (mother's father) died the night before my father's funeral, two states away from each other and both unexpected. My mother's sisters were insisting that the first day of my grandfathers wake be the same day as my father's funeral. We kept telling them that was impossible, we couldn't be at both funerals simultaneously. Turned out my grandfather was too long for the standard casket anyway, which caused a one day delay (which is what we needed).

Once we were at my grandfather's funeral mom's sisters asked several times why my father hadn't come. I said "Because he is dead. He died. His funeral was yesterday. He can't come, he is dead". Finally one of them says "Do you mean your father died?!". It was like they couldn't hear because of their grief or something.

Anyway, another of my dad's relatives died 28 days later. And I was glad when I got the call that it was the "3", it was over, and it wasn't anyone closer.

And, yes, it is a strange feeling.

 

[Duxwing]

*gulp* And each of them who wasn't a grandparent expected to be the one to watch their relatives die.

-Duxwing

 

[Chad]

I've only ever been upset by the death of one person, and I wasn't even close to them. I think I was upset because they were close to my age, which drove existential angst straight to my door. There are many people who's death would upset me greatly, but I have been fortunate enough to not have any of these people die.



Ordinarily I'd suggest that one phenomenon changes your attention so you notice subsequent similar phenomenon, but I don't think there's much chance you'd miss a death anyway (I did apparently have to be told of my grandmother's death twice, but we weren't close and I am terribly forgetful).

Which leaves expected statistical abnormality, some sort of variable that is causal to all the deaths (though I think you'd notice such a thing), or synchronicity (if you're into that). I'd put my money on the first option.

I have gotten upset about death twice that I can remember. The first time was my grandfathers death on my dad's side. However, this had very little to do with his death and more to do with the realization that if my father's, father can die then more then likely one day I would have to go to my fathers funeral too.

The second was a childhood friend that I didn't realized had died until almost a year after the event when I read a random comment form someone I didn't know about his death. It was hard to deal with possibly because he was younger then me but also because I couldn't imagine him dead and I completely missed it for over a year. There would have been little chance I would have ever ran into this person again even if he hadn't died but my mind instantly filed with "What ifs".

 

[Brontosaurie]

yet again you hatch an awesome metal title!

THE BURDEN OF TRUTH - "DEATH OF EXTENDED RELATIVES" (2013)