It's that time again. I know I'm prone to anxiety and it seems to be creeping up on me again. I constantly feel a little detached, unreal, and I have this constant "nervous rollercoaster-feeling" in my stomach.
How do you guys deal with anxiety? What could be causing this sudden return of needless fear?
I have been falling asleep late at night lately. Luckily it's summer break so I can sleep in, but yeah. I don't know what is causing this. It kind of pisses me off and intimidates me at the same time. This may sound cliché or cringe-inducing, but I have been worrying about a girl. But I don't think it would trigger anxiety this bad... would it? Could it?
The thing is, I just want to stop this before it turns into embarrassing paralyzing panic attacks again.
And to make this thread a little more broad, you can share your anxiety/panic attack stories here if you would like to, it's always nice to share shitty experiences to see if they're reason for worry or not.
I used to get anxiety attacks several years ago. It would keep me up at night, my mind racing and worried about things that don't even follow logic whatsoever. I would sometimes become obsessed with my worries and all normal thoughts and actions would grind to a halt.
I'm a fairly strong opponent of medications, but I was kind of at my wit's end and I'd been told by a few friends I should ask a doctor about it, so I did.
He gave me a prescription for Zoloft (forget the dosage). It took less than a month and my anxiety attacks virtually ceased. I gradually weaned myself off it and have been anxiety free ever since. I'm not really sure why that would even work. If I needed medication, why should I be able to avoid the anxiety after stopping the medication? I don't know.
Well, I've been around 6 months anxiety-free without medication before... So I guess I'm also a bit reluctant towards medication. I really want to see if I can work this out without medication as well.
It sounds interesting though, it doesn't make sense that they completely stopped even after you stopped using Zoloft... that's great though!
What has been worrying me the most is this shitty detached feeling. It gets on my nerves. I know when I ignore it it slowly fades, but it still bothers me. Even if it's gone I still keep pondering about what reality is and if this isn't all a dream and if I'm not going mad... I've been thinking the same thoughts I can't get out of since I was 5 or something. It started with death. I somehow managed to live with that. Then came all the dangers of nature; black holes, supernovas, supervolcanos... I managed to get over all of those fears eventually. My latest fear is unreality. It has been my biggest worry-fear-thought-thing for around 2-3 years now and I'm sick of it.
I can't understand how this whole world can be, how everybody lives in his own universe, how everything is so big... There is no meaning to it all, no proven cause to why everything is as it is. Alright, there's the big bang theory. But how the hell did matter in the first place come to exist? That thought is something I've been having all my life, it's not a fear, but more some sort of nagging feeling of not knowing something and probably never finding out... It certainly contributes to anxious thoughts though.
Drugs and alcohol and sex (if you can). But that's probably not the best thing to do, so you could try talking about it with someone, but that would get personal (usually worse for me). Post-traumatic Stress you thought was gone, but resurfaced for individually unique reasons.
But I don't think it would trigger anxiety this bad... would it? Could it?
Of course it can. Why would you be worrying about her?
And to make this thread a little more broad, you can share your anxiety/panic attack stories here if you would like to, it's always nice to share shitty experiences to see if they're reason for worry or not.
Very occasionally something triggers a spiritual feeling about my life's relationships being mostly dysfunctional that living feels so futile and I end up not being able to fall asleep throughout a whole night. I really hate that, it feels so crazy.
Drugs and alcohol and sex (if you can). But that's probably not the best thing to do, so you could try talking about it with someone, but that would get personal (usually worse for me). Post-traumatic Stress you thought was gone, but resurfaced for individually unique reasons.
Of course it can. Why would you be worrying about her?
Very occasionally something triggers a spiritual feeling about my life's relationships being mostly dysfunctional that living feels so futile and I end up not being able to fall asleep throughout a whole night. I really hate that, it feels so crazy.
Drugs don't really work well for me. They just exaggerate my mood. Alcohol, weed, it all makes me feel even more detached. Which is probably a good thing, it means I will most likely not really get addicted to either of those, but yeah.
I'm worrying about her because I really want to ask her out but keep overthinking things. It's pretty average really. Nothing really special. Well to me it's special and big and such of course, but it's something everybody goes through.
I've had panic attacks in front of class, on my way to school, in town, everywhere where I felt people could judge me. When I get panic attacks time literally slows down a little, my whole body numbs, I feel like I'm dying or going mad, and I become unable to talk. It really sucks and I'm glad I haven't had one in a while.
They're meant to stop even after you come off the pills. I was the same with depression/anxiety - took citalopram for somewhere between one and two years, came off it all at once with no adverse effects except that I cried about eight times a day for a month as my brain restored the chemical balance. I'd be weeping with joy because I heard a nice song one moment, then I'd be like, "But I don't always feel like that!" and start weeping with misery, then I'd be like, "But isn't it incredible that I can feel these intense emotions!?" and start weeping with joy again. It was... interesting!
I always had depression worst, but sometimes I'd have really bad panic attacks. Mostly just sitting at my computer, but I'd seize up and hyperventilate. The worst time, I went catatonic in school and sat by a gate for hours with my friends taking shifts to form a protective wall around me until they got too worried and went to fetch senior management. I wouldn't respond to anyone or anything or move or let myself be moved, and my mind was just a furnace of self-loathing. I thought I'd upset my boyfriend - he said I hadn't but I thought I had. Yeah, I was pretty far gone by then.
Sounds like you've got a social phobia. I had a friend with one who couldn't go to a restaurant without leaving to go to the bathroom because she was having a panic attack.
i've had anxiety issues for years. occasional panic attacks, constant worrying. i mostly worry about the immediate tangible future, and my anxiety triggers especially when i'm having relationship issues or when i'm feeling particularly socially awkward (though that happens less frequently now).
i have panic attacks occasionally, usually when i'm arguing with my boyfriend or something along those lines. i try to hide it from him, but it never really works, hyperventilation is pretty easy to spot. funny thing is, that's what usually gets me out of it. he spots it, forces me to talk about it, and usually tries to make me feel better because he knows i have anxiety issues and he knows it sucks.
just from my experience, the greatest cure is human contact. even if you're socially anxious, just talking to people anyway will help. family, friends, whoever. people can be a lot more understanding and helpful than you'd think. it'll make you feel connected, get you out of your own head for a while.
I've had panic attacks in front of class, on my way to school, in town, everywhere where I felt people could judge me. When I get panic attacks time literally slows down a little, my whole body numbs, I feel like I'm dying or going mad, and I become unable to talk. It really sucks and I'm glad I haven't had one in a while.
That's interesting. I wonder where those panic attacks stem from. I get paranoid and uncomfortable if I have to sit in front of a class or if the desks are too close together, then it feels like my space will be violated and I'll lose my focus. Is it something like that?
I still get anxiety when driving. People are so aggressive where I live and I feel I have to be really alert so I can avoid accidents. I'm a good driver, but it's like I have to go into soldier mode. I guess it can kind of sometimes be pathetic when I need to go to the store to buy food or something, but don't want to go because it's kind of stressful. Those simple pleasures like driving makes me feel like I'm in a stampede of cattle; but I'm sure it's a societal thing.
I can get stressed out walking around a town too because there can be so many faces walking by and you don't know any of them and don't really know if you should pay attention to them or not. It's like there are no social norms, just everybody doing their own thing and a resulting clusterfuck of conflicting behaviors.
Of course, I'm assuming your anxieties are similar to mine, and I'm sure they are not, but I'm curious what you make of your anxieties, if you want to analyze the cause.
Of course, I'm assuming your anxieties are similar to mine, and I'm sure they are not, but I'm curious what you make of your anxieties, if you want to analyze the cause.
I'm not entirely sure where my anxiety stems from. I know my dad had the same kinds of anxiety when he was my age, and that it kept on going for him until he was around his 40ies, because he constantly thought he was going mad and had no idea what was wrong with him. Luckily I know what's going on somehow so I hope this anxiety will last shorter.
It means my anxiety is hereditary though.
I think a lot of my anxiety has to do with being afraid of other people's thoughts... That's the furthest I can get, really... Over-thinking what others might think.
For example, a while ago this person screamed 'OW' when I shook her hand, and ever since I've been wondering if I hugged that girl I've been after too hard too. Which would be kind of creepy. So now I'm obsessing over that. My thoughts constantly go like 'Oh man oh no oh man oh no. WHAT IF. Oh no oh god she's probably talking to a friend no making me seem completely ridiculous oh shit oh fuck oh what do I do'... It's really ridiculous.
Another example: A while ago I went to an open-air concert with some people, and I shared some of my theories and such, and now I'm constantly paranoid about whether these were the right people to share my brain farts with. And whether they're not making me ridiculous behind my back now.
This probably comes from the fact that I notice that people gossip about each other ALL THE TIME, and it makes me feel really sad.
And when I'm not obsessing over little social details, it's whether or not I am alive or not. Whether the reality I'm experiencing is real. Those thought-patterns are similar to the ones above, except about more scary metaphysical stuff.
@Jordan: Wow those panic attacks sound even worse than mine... Really awesome that you're over them. That chemical inbalance is something I somewhat recognize, but I don't know from where...
@Shoeless: Yeah, human contact does good. Sadly it's summer and my 3 close friends are all on holiday... But it'll be alright eventually.
I must also note that I'm going on a two-week probably internetless holiday tomorrow so I might not reply for a while.
I often had panic attacks in class and had to leave after one or two hours. If it was possible, I always took "bathroom breaks" during class to calm down. My mind was so terrible foggy with slight depression due to my failure that I had huge problems studying. I had to quit school because of that. Now I've been on Cipralex for one year and the anxiety is drastically reduced. The change happened very slowly, still noticing improvement after 6 months.
Now I feel like I think I should be feeling all a long (wat, weird sentence) . I don't feel like a natural worrier, I'm more laidback and if things don't work out, they don't work out. But my anxiety got triggered every time I was thinking about leaving the house. Or even in bizarre situations like when I thought of taking a break from the jigsaw puzzle I was working on (??)
So, yeah, it's amazing to not feel bad when someone asks me a favor which involves me doing something new, asking a clerk or visiting a new store.
Though, I read an article about SSRI not being the best medication for males and old ladies. Agent Intellect probably have two thousand sources on that in his sleeve somewhere.
Firstly youngling, you have a normal teenage sleep pattern, so you can drop that one from your concerns immediately.
Secondly, wanting "to stop this before it turns into embarrassing paralyzing panic attacks again" is a pretty good way of psyching yourself into having panic attacks. If you've been through Anxiety before you know this, right?
Remember that anxiety is perfectly normal - all those jitters and tingles, the racing heart and breathing, the digestive suspension perceived as 'butterflies' and so on are your perfectly normal body's perfectly normal responses to the perfectly normal release of adrenalin in the perfectly normal flight-or-fight response. It's not going to hurt you.
In fact, if it happened while you were being attacked by a bear or something this response would help you stay alive, especially since it happens a lot faster than you can think "OMG A BEAR!!" So be grateful to your body for looking after you.
Sometimes the response kicks off when there is no threat. That's normal too.
All you have to do is manage it.
For most people just recognising that there's no threat is enough, most of the time.
Frequently a nervous laugh helps - consider the common "BANG! - hahaha" pattern so predictable we use it in jokes.
If the anxiety is becoming troublesome something more structured is needed.
This is an individual thing.
For me it helps to say the words "thankyou adrenalin but you're not required right now." You probably have a good strategy from your previous experience - just dig it up and start using it again.
Finally, don't dismiss a real threat as an imaginary one. Thinking about a girl is not an imaginary threat! You want her to like you. Maybe she doesn't like you. You can't make her like you. You have no control over this situation. Having no control over something that affects you is threatening/stressful - an adrenalin response is appropriate.
It is, in fact, part of the fun.
All I would suggest here is that you keep moving. Don't sit and think - get on a bike or go for a run. Give the adrenalin something to do while you dwell on her.
Occasional anxiety due to a specific stimulus is normal, but panic attacks and constant anxiety are neither normal nor healthy. It's the difference between a normal and healthy immune response and anaphylactic shock due to an allergic reaction.
Have you considered what factors contribute to your anxiety? For instance, do you have a good diet, and do you exercise regularly? Is there an excessive amount of stress in your life?
In your case it may be a matter of guiding your thoughts away from ideas that trigger your anxiety. For instance, you could try solving a complicated problem in your head whenever you start thinking about scary metaphysical stuff.
This is the most fucking annoying thing I hear from people who never had real anxiety.
It is as normal as depression or malaria. Everything is normal if we decide to view it that way.
But normal, as in as managble as normal people's fears, then no. Having anxiety is on a comlpetely different level. Imagine for the first time performing a speach before 2000 people. That intense heart beat is present at pretty much any event when you have axiety. It's worse than that, because a normal person gets nervous, someone with anxiety get dizzy, depersonalization etc.
Actually, this doesn't come close to describe what weight anxiety puts on a person. It's almost constant stress, you are constantly drained. Many sit at home, unable to do anything than sit on their PC because they are so paralyzed.
I can't understand how this whole world can be, how everybody lives in his own universe, how everything is so big... There is no meaning to it all, no proven cause to why everything is as it is. Alright, there's the big bang theory. But how the hell did matter in the first place come to exist? That thought is something I've been having all my life, it's not a fear, but more some sort of nagging feeling of not knowing something and probably never finding out... It certainly contributes to anxious thoughts though.
What do you think and feel is your purpose in your life? Based upon the above paragraph, it sounds like you like physicis and perhaps the sciences in general. If this is what you're interested in, what would you like to do with it? If you're not interested in the sciences, what are you interested in? What do you see yourself doing with this interest?
I know what I want to do with my life. I have goals. I think nearly everyone on this forum knows I'm a tax attorney and that I want to be a tax attorney and an adjunct law professor in a land far far away.
At the rate I'm currently at, I may never realize my goals...though I've done everything I can. I may never retire, either.
I've had panic attacks in front of class, on my way to school, in town, everywhere where I felt people could judge me. When I get panic attacks time literally slows down a little, my whole body numbs, I feel like I'm dying or going mad, and I become unable to talk. It really sucks and I'm glad I haven't had one in a while.
High dose niacinamide, a form a vitamin B3, has helped me a great deal. I take about 1-2g per day and it has the effect of reducing most of my low level anxiety. If I stop taking it, I usually feel more anxious after a few days off it. Might not help everyone but if it does, it'll only cost you $10-20 a month.
I use pot a lot too, helps my anxiety and depression much more than the anti-depressants ever did.
I will speak from my perspective here as somebody with chronic anxiety:
The first major problem I had with anxiety was in the fear of becoming anxious. Then, all activities in which I experienced anxious behaviour become potential triggers for a seemingly unrelated attack.
The second major problem I faced was triggered by the thinking "I shouldn't be anxious". I tried SSRIs and Ativan, then I went on SSNRIs. Both of these treated effects but not causes, still though, they helped me calm down enough to come to important realization on this topic:
~One needs to manage anxiety. It will not go away, but it can be understood. If you try to fight anxiety, the inner conflict of "I feel anxious -> I don't want to feel anxious" will cause more anxiety and form an endless loop.
~To accept anxiety, one must be objective with oneself and the environment. Panic occurs when the anxiety is in the subconscious mind and cannot be rationalized away. When pangs of anxiety occur it is best to greet them as a friend: Ask how they are, what they're up to, what's new with them and how they've been.
~Because I suffer from chronic anxiety I had to do this sort of process in virtually all walks of life. It's part of knowing that I'm anxious though I'm not aware of it and realizing the internal conflict that brings upon me. Simple things like walking in a train station, and taking the time to think "What could I be afraid of?: 1)Falling into the railings 2) Explosives 3)People seeing the hole in my shoe 4)Someone asking for directions, etc "By doing this in all of my activities I aknowledged the anxious thoughts in the close subconsious and told myself I was ok with them. They don't NEED to stress me out, but they WILL if I let them go unchecked. After a while my anxiety lessened, especially as I found the general trends (most of which stemmed from a heinous amount of self-importance - Strangers don't sit there analyzing me and all my flaws, and even if they did it doesn't matter).
Important: What you think other people are thinking is not "real". We are at heart introverts, it's our world and other people live in it. Any time you think you know what somebody else is thinking, it is not them thinking it, it is YOU thinking it. As such, if we compartmentalize our own self hatred under the delusion that it comes from "other people" it will not protect us, but surround us in our own loathing.
This is the most fucking annoying thing I hear from people who never had real anxiety.
It is as normal as depression or malaria. Everything is normal if we decide to view it that way.
But normal, as in as managble as normal people's fears, then no. Having anxiety is on a comlpetely different level. Imagine for the first time performing a speach before 2000 people. That intense heart beat is present at pretty much any event when you have axiety. It's worse than that, because a normal person gets nervous, someone with anxiety get dizzy, depersonalization etc.
Actually, this doesn't come close to describe what weight anxiety puts on a person. It's almost constant stress, you are constantly drained. Many sit at home, unable to do anything than sit on their PC because they are so paralyzed.
Actually I read something more or less along the lines of what Roni said that really helped me with my anxiety problems. Knowing that the rush of adrenaline is a normal bodily response (fight-or-flight) and not a precursor to a heart attack or mental breakdown was really helpful. So was finding out that I wasn't actually going crazy, and wasn't going to snap and go on some kind of mad killing spree.
The fact that the adrenaline with anxiety comes randomly/not in response to anything specific - that's not normal, true, but she did mention that as well.
Of course it's a lot harder to manage than it sounds. But from everything I've read, anxiety does have a sort of cumulative effect, and many recurrent attacks are a result of the fear of having an attack. So some mental tricks (eg reconciling to an attack as an out-of-place but not unhealthy response, instead of fearing it or fearing the embarrassment) could help lessen it over time.
Personally I've found it really helps to become aware of tension in my body. Different modes of thinking/feeling seem to be associated with different bodily states. Anxiety is definitely associated with physical tension for me (for everyone, I'm guessing). So if I start noticing my pattern of thinking is going awry, I make sure to check my body and release any tension that's come as a result of the anxious thoughts (and each feed the other, which can lead to an attack) - like hunched shoulders, crossed arms, frowning, etc. If I stand up straight, let myself move freely, relax my face and so on, within a few minutes or even seconds I'm as blissfully blank as anyone else, almost ignorant of my existence. No thoughts, no awareness of my consciousness, just going through life like everyone else. Then I'll suddenly snap out of it and only then realise I haven't been as mentally 'present' as NTPs usually are.
Sometimes it's not as easy and after relaxing everything I'll find the tension settles somewhere in the pit of my stomach. It's still much more manageable than before though.
They did this study which strongly suggested a feedback loop between body-states and emotions. They got a bunch of people to hold a pencil between their teeth, and after some amount of time their reported emotion was happiness. On the other hand the other group, which held a straw in their mouths (causing pursed lips), reported sadness or anger. I think there may have been slightly more to it than that, but basically the stretching of the lips caused the brain to interpret its emotional state as positive, and the opposite went for the group with the pursed lips. The same definitely seems to hold true for me and anxiety. The thoughts cause tension, which cause more thoughts, which cause more tension, etc etc till an explosion or at least exhaustion. So you could try being more aware of your body, if you haven't already.
Standing up straight, walking with head high, allowing shoulders/arms to move freely - this seems to create a more positive and confident mood as well. Sitting up straight at the computer instead of slouching also works for me. Try to emulate more positive/comfortable/relaxed/free body language (working from the inside out) and see if that helps.
*edit
This works with moodiness and very mild depression as well. Making an effort to smile more/arrange the face more positively, interact cheerfully, move quickly and freely, etc can help stave off more serious problems and lift low mood.
I find it condescending. Like I actually believe I'm going to die from irrational fear. No offence. Knowing what anxiety is doesn't do any good at all. It's like telling depressed people it's just some chemical imbalance, they just need to alter their thoughts to change it back, perhaps exercise a little to kick-start some neurons.
Actually posted about something similar on another forum, on the subject of being able to 'will' yourself out of a mental illness, or alleviate its symptoms through that kind of behavioural modification.
I agree that a lot of the 'cognitive behavioural'-style advice people give you is a bit ridiculous and patronising. Most people have no idea how to behave around someone depressed, or what the effect of their words will be. I don't blame them, I wouldn't either. Because it's a very introspective state of mind, the outward symptoms can just look like a bad case of gloominess, and that's how people often seem to treat it. Y'know, "Chin up!" or, "Look on the bright side!" or, "Do something you like!" or, "Just count your blessings!"
I wanted to laugh in their faces when they said things like that. "What blessings!? There are no blessings! Reality is a relentlessly cruel and meaningless torment, the only sane response to existence is suicide! You're a ridiculous moron, tricking yourself into thinking there are good things, tricking yourself into thinking you have something to live for! You should be like me, you should be miserable too, you should want to die!"
Of course, rather than saying any of that, I'd just go, "Hmm." If someone had kicked me in the stomach I'd barely have registered that something had happened, so people giving stupid advice just blended in to the pointless, idiotic background noise that was the whole of experience for me at the time.
If it was in the nature of depression that its sufferers expressed their suffering, it would be up there with the madnesses that loom large in people's minds, like schizophrenia. From the outside, the degree to which there's a problem isn't at all obvious.
There's a kind of logic to it, because I suppose people are just trying to give what they think is constructive advice (in the manner of cognitive behavioural therapy) or give the sufferer a little hope. It can be kind of accidentally destructive, though; often when people said positive things they'd just ring false and make me feel worse - "It'll get better." (It won't.) "You'll feel fine in the morning." (I'll never feel fine.) "There'll be someone else." (Who could love something as damaged as me?). Sometimes people would try to comfort me and I'd just be thinking, "Please just shut up, please leave me alone," because I just wanted to go back to trying not to think about anything. The behavioural advice requires you to be in a place where you want to be happy and you think happiness is possible. If you tell someone who thinks happiness is foolish that they'll feel better if they go for a jog, they're only likely to consider that evidence that happiness is a frivolous deception. If you want to go on living because you moved your legs a lot recently, you don't want to go on living for any good reason - I still think that, and I'm not depressed now. That's why you get medicated before you start CBT - so you might actually be in a position where you want to get better and you think there's a point to trying.
I think the best support I got was from my dad, because he didn't say anything at all - just hushed and comforted and sympathised the way you do a child, with, "There, there," and, "Shhh..." and, "Ohhhh, dear..." whenever I got worse, and gave me something to hug. When someone's psyche is in tatters, trying to appeal to their reason or emotion's not going to be very effective - by then, everything just feeds into the all-consuming ocean of evidence of their preoccupations. "I love you" and "I hate you" can have the same effect. The only way to make them feel better is to bypass it, appeal to the unconscious mind, make them feel safe and comfortable in a way they can't feed into the depression machine's fuel chute. "Go for a jog" or "Do some breathing exercises" won't achieve anything.
Recognise that depression is irrational.
Recognise that happiness is irrational.
Decide which I want. Irrationally condition my mind to pursue one over the other.
It's not perfect, but I can say honestly that this approach has worked to an extent for me. Life has to go on. My pride demands no less. If I am going to be irrational, might as well be irrationally cheerful.
I find it condescending. Like I actually believe I'm going to die from irrational fear. No offence. Knowing what anxiety is doesn't do any good at all. It's like telling depressed people it's just some chemical imbalance, they just need to alter their thoughts to change it back, perhaps exercise a little to kick-start some neurons.
Attacks aren't the same for everyone since you could have a different combination of symptoms. Mine definitely involved feeling like I was about to die, and honest-to-god it was a genuine fear. I also thought I was about to lose my mind, and that I might end up murdering someone. They are also commonly confused with heart attacks (because of palpitations and chest pains and so on). Knowing what anxiety is *does* help some people, and it helped me. It may not have helped you, but it's not fair to write it off for other people as if you can speak for them.
Of course it didn't fix the problem entirely, but it gave me greater peace of mind, and made me less afraid of future attacks (and again, fear of attacks often triggers them). When they first started happening I had no idea what was going on. I assumed I was simply losing it and wouldn't be around much longer. (I called them 'the crazies'.) My first incredible moment of revelation came from googling 'feel like going crazy' or something similar, and finding out about panic attacks (and the symptoms, which were creepily spot-on). Previously I thought panic attacks were only for wussies And then a year or two later I found out that my crazed thoughts didn't imply any horrible darkness or propensity towards insanity (two of my big fears), but were a *result* of the anxiety. Knowing all this helped me relax a little about it, and also showed me how I might approach/attack it (by understanding its roots).
As for the behavioural modifications, it's a long process and not a cure, but it does ease things, especially the milder ones which *can* progress to full-blown attacks. It's also just given me a better quality of life overall. Still struggle with it, but if it makes a bad day better, why not offer it? I'm not saying this'll fix anyone, they're just suggestions based on what's worked for me that might ease things a little for someone else.
There's no doubt knowledge and understanding helped. I understand your and Jordan's points and have experienced them myself first-hand (the increasing alienation resulting from a misguided attempt to 'cheer up' or 'get over it', etc). [I especially agree RE side-stepping the actual issue/reason/emotions and simply doing something for the person indirectly.] But I do wonder whether sometimes we're too resistant to listening or trying what other people say because we assume we're not understood, and are alone.
Ramble:
I read this very cool (long) comment on a page about anxiety, from a long-time sufferer, who said the feeling of alienation and being alone in suffering is a lie, because there are many who have been through this, and they *can* understand, and they *have* gotten through, and that conviction that no one can bridge that horrible divide between them and us is a result of our deep-seated fear of being alone and unreachable, rather than an accurate reflection of reality. (He said it better than I did.) Anyway, that helped too. I've found sometimes I can hear the same message in a different form, and the difference in form makes the message so much more accessible than previously. (Definitely sympathise with some of XIII's/Lyra's sentiments.) So I suppose while there's a danger of being repetitive and more alienating to some when parroting old, worn-out advice, there's also the possibility that you'll be carrying the right form to help someone else.
On the other hand, there's a good possibility I'm simply speaking from the currently-happy-cheese perspective, and am no longer able to understand or empathise with issues that used to be more prominent features of my life. I think there's a thread somewhere about that - about neither side having any more access to 'truth' and 'understanding' than the other, but simply being restricted perspectives that alternate depending on the pendulum swing.
It's also possible I haven't had it as bad as most people. (I don't think I've ever been truly depressed, for instance, though lots here seem to have been.) Here are examples I can recall for comparison:
trying to do something mundane and crying instead, trying to walk myself into walls, running away and hiding in the men's for hours at a time, feeling an inexplicable build-up of panic and cold sweat unrelated to anything, not being able to walk a corridor without feeling exhausted from the mental toll, having very bad and very scary urges that feel almost uncontrollable, feeling convinced I'm about to die, feeling my mind coming apart at the seams, feeling unreal (although this was more a result of thought than actual derealisation), feeling I might hurt/kill people around me (especially those I love), urges to throw myself into traffic, not being able to walk straight, some elements of thought disorder, hot flashes, having certain elements of my environment become unusually prominent in my awareness to the point of scariness, going down a tunnel of senseless sensory input, feeling like my insides are crumbling, feeling a void where my willpower/life used to be, etc.
*edit
Oh, and there was this other thing (a few others, but I can't remember it all right now) where everything would take on this profound significance... kinda like they described in the video about temporal lobe epilepsy (though I doubt mine was anywhere near as bad as that). So basically whatever was coming in through my senses would set off a chain of mental-emotional reactions too quick to be processed, which would lead to overstimulation. The excess information and the emotional responses generated (especially the feeling of profundity and experience) would cause a lot of anxiety, because I couldn't work out what was going on and my brain felt like it was burning out. It would hit me out of nowhere, too. Sort of like living in a permanent indie movie, except with the soundtrack from the shower scene in Psycho. Also felt like I couldn't see things properly because my eyes would tire out very quickly and I needed to sit down a lot because I was exhausted. It made things interesting but it was also extremely stressful.
I also 'thought-block' a lot http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thought_blocking and at one stage would jumble up concepts and 'naming' in my head - eg I'd see a dog and think 'bowl', and then get confused, overstimulated and anxious. Thankfully that's over.
There could be some other root to my particular batch of oddities, but it's probably just a slightly silly brain and too much unnecessary thought, leading to physical states that build upon themselves and feed the mental cycle which then feeds the physical, etc.
One cool effect was not being able to sleep. I am the champion of sleep; I almost never have any trouble sleeping pretty much whenever I want to. This rare instance of insomnia involved images flashing through my head, like they were being spliced into my brain, super-quick, more real than real life. Everything was ridiculously vivid and detailed, and often very mundane situations - so much so that it seemed impossible it could have originated in my head (I couldn't recall having seen any of the faces before - totally new and like I was seeing them right in front of me, but even clearer). It felt like something was downloading moments-in-time from around the globe (varied locations and races) that were happening right that instant, into my head. I usually have basically no imagination, so it was really weird. Actually it was kinda oppressive and I hated it because I wanted to fucking sleep, but aliens wait for no man, man. It went on and on too. I felt like I'd lost my mind - to someone else. And it pissed me off. (And ok, scared me lots too.) I think I'd had a coke a couple of hours earlier. The caffeine might've triggered something...? Dunno.
Attacks aren't the same for everyone since you could have a different combination of symptoms. Mine definitely involved feeling like I was about to die, and honest-to-god it was a genuine fear. I also thought I was about to lose my mind, and that I might end up murdering someone. They are also commonly confused with heart attacks (because of palpitations and chest pains and so on). Knowing what anxiety is *does* help some people, and it helped me. It may not have helped you, but it's not fair to write it off for other people as if you can speak for them.
I'm in a bad mood today, so I'm just going to say this:
That wasn't my point at all.
1. If you don't know you have anxiety, why would you feel relieved about something that you think doesn't apply to you? You sit there thinking you had a heart attack, you'd google heart attack, not anxiety. When you've reached the point where you know what anxiety is, how can you not know that you wont die? (to use that example)
2. The point is that it's annoying because I know all to well what anxiety is. I know I wont die.
3. There's a difference between feeling and thinking. I feel that I'm going to faint/ die whatever when I have an anxiety attack, but I know that's not true. Assuming I believe in that irrational feeling is annoying. It's not a thought, it's a feeling.
1. I didn't know I had anxiety, because I didn't know what it was. When I googled 'feeling crazy', one of the first results was 'panic attack' which listed a long list of symptoms of which I had about 80% (and the requisite number for a diagnosis was 4, or more, iirc). Previously I didn't know what panic attacks entailed, hence I didn't think they applied to me. After reading the symptoms list it became pretty obvious what was going on. I felt relieved because previously, I thought I was going insane or that my brain would short-circuit or that I would lose control of my body and kill myself. Now I knew what it was I felt better able to meet it.
I don't know what your heart attack point is about. My point is that lots of people don't know what's going on, and once they do, it makes things a little easier.
Your third question doesn't make sense either. Of course I knew I wouldn't die after I found out what was going on. That's my point. Finding out I wasn't going to die, or snap or go insane, helped.
2. Well, good for you. I didn't, and finding out eased my mind.
3. I didn't know that. Not sure how I can make it any clearer. I didn't know what was going on, therefore any number of outcomes were possible in my mind. Once I narrowed it down it became a lot easier to meet mentally and deal with, because there weren't fears about other (impossible) things exacerbating the situation.
Why don't you explain what your point was, then? Mine was that you can't speak for everyone, and I was putting forth my own experience as evidence, in response to this
Minuend said:
Like I actually believe I'm going to die from irrational fear. No offence. Knowing what anxiety is doesn't do any good at all.
I think there's been misunderstanding somewhere. we have different scenarios in the back of our minds. I'm talking about people brushing off anxiety as "normal" etc, while you explain how helpful a symptom list is?
Oh well, I suggest we leave this matter unresolved to annoy any accidental INTJ.
Though, as a side note, I wouldn't call normal-people-worry "anxiety" at all though that's dictionarily correct. I've experienced both, and even though you have like a public speech which terrifies you, such temporarily worry is nothing to anxiety.
I think there's been misunderstanding somewhere. we have different scenarios in the back of our minds. I'm talking about people brushing off anxiety as "normal" etc, while you explain how helpful a symptom list is?
What I meant was Roni may not have been as dismissive as she seemed. The people you're talking about irritate me as well because they generally have no understanding of what they're talking about.
By anxiety being 'normal' I think she meant it is a basic bodily process - being the fight-or-flight response - except that it's malfunctioning, as it's being activated in threatless situations. You could probably describe most mental problems this way, but it is still mentally comforting to know what is actually going on - especially as, since perception can be distorted in an attack, you may really think your brain is snapping. I read somewhere (though I'm not sure it's a reliable source) that panic attacks never cause the sort of insanity involving an unknowing distortion of reality. What we perceive as normal experience gone wrong is *not* a threat to our sanity but simply a passing heightening of senses/distortion of perception/bundle of nerves on fire that's supposed to protect us against threats, except that it happens to be useless at the time. And again, the fact that it's useless and the brain is - I'm guessing - firing like crazy means the fear gets associated with all kinds of random things, whatever's in your environment, which makes you feel your life is nonsensical and your emotional responses are off-kilter, which increases your fear of your own mind, which feeds the anxiety cycle. (I still find it difficult listening to music that I like in a public place, for example. It makes me panicky because that feeling of significance or profundity is now associated with fear and the world 'going wrong'. Add in more 'significant' stimuli like books on consciousness and bookstores become potential landmines. It's not too bad now though.)
And you're misreading me - the symptom list wasn't 'helpful' in itself - it's the fact that it helped me understand my condition, and recognising it as a generally helpful force made me less afraid of it. And *again*, fear of attacks is one of the larger factors in precipitating another one (especially those that are associated with specific places or situations). So I'm not sure why it isn't obvious by now that knowing what was going on, becoming reconciled to it, learning to deal with it and having the fear (of insanity, accidentally killing myself/others, etc) gone decreased the frequency of attacks and made the core of my mind slightly more at ease even with the war going on outside.
Minuend said:
Oh well, I suggest we leave this matter unresolved to annoy any accidental INTJ.
Though, as a side note, I wouldn't call normal-people-worry "anxiety" at all though that's dictionarily correct. I've experienced both, and even though you have like a public speech which terrifies you, such temporarily worry is nothing to anxiety.
Of course. I'm not talking about that either. I'd say it's the same root (adrenaline/fight-or-flight) but they're not equivalent. Anxiety that has an identifiable, understandable root is a little easier to deal with than that which doesn't. It all goes back to fear of the unknown. What we know, we don't fear as much. Which explains (again) why adding knowledge and understanding helped for me.
*edit
And all the postural/behavioural modifications! I swear. Although that's more for situations where you can feel it coming on/low-level anxiety, the stuff you live with day to day. In the midst of an attack I doubt it's useful at all.
I've seen people have anxiety attacks but I never really understood how it felt. I still don't think I do.
Sometimes when I'm really out of wack on pain killers (mixtures of stuff like morphine and epinephrine) I get these really horrible emotional swings. I'll be fine one minute, sobbing the next, and then dead the next. It's horrible because I know I'm not like that. That isn't me. It doesn't feel like me and yet I have only a small range of control over it. All I can do is say, "No, no. I'm fine. Go do your thing! I'll be fine in a minute." as I sit there sobbing. As I say, it's all rather horrible and probably nothing like an anxiety attack.
Minuend and Cheese both indicate that knowledge of what was going on was helpful in understanding. Minuend apparently got that knowledge some time ago; Cheese relates the change for the better it made in her when she got it. In both cases, although there are sparks there, it still looks like the thing we ARE blessed with, the ability to think once we have pertinent facts, is in play to our benefit.
Just thought I'd overanalyze all that.
In my case when I was young, and let's call that up to age 16 or so, I'd get anxiety about a great many things, mostly involving drawing attention to myself as in speaking to a class. We didn't have any clue -- this is the 1950s and 1960s, when people were supposed to conform to a Leave it to Beaver kind of normality. We also had no drugs, at least not in the rural world I lived in. So what I did was cry at the drop of a hat. Perfect for an INTP, not enough information to calm down and no control over emotion.
The anxiety seems to have dropped off not because of any of the awareness of INTPness we have on this forum, but simply because most of the stuff I had to do "in front of people" I did well, and the anxiety gradually declined.
As far as "it will be better tomorrow." Well, if there was one particular event that triggered an anxiety attack of the type described in this thread, it probably will. I've dealt with a lot of traumatized people who found their names, misfortunes, misdeeds and misunderstandings in 72-point headlines in their local newspaper. I've told them what I'd observed: Their anxiety and remorse and other negative emotional conditions would diminish over time. But if we're talking anxiety-attack proneness and an ongoing series of triggers, no, it won't, and I admit to being as clueless as anyone to single out the root cause and deal with it. The only advice I'd give is relatively benign: Don't give in to the paralysis this seems to cause. Seek stimuli in the form of music, books, videos, anything to force your thinking parts into motion. Kind of like starting a car by pushing it and popping the clutch to turn the motor over. Make it an activity you know you already like; that's like pushing the car downhill. That's really what the talk about "make yourself actually smile" is kind of about. Your body and your brain are capable of being coaxed and kicked into activity, and activity seems to be the path out of anxiety. Brooding definitely is not. Drugs, I'm not all that familiar with. I find a Xanax-like drug useful only insomuch as it shuts down my thinking so I can sleep at night. Other than that I'm not too familiar with mental drugs.
Aren't we interesting people?
Cava, that's exactly what I felt. "This is anxiety, it is not me. It is not how I would have behaved".
And it's not now that it's about non-existent. As long as I'm not challenging routine too much, at least. I will perhaps start school next month, that will be the first test.
I find it condescending. Like I actually believe I'm going to die from irrational fear. No offence. This is the thing that bothers me
Knowing what anxiety is doesn't do any good at all. It's like telling depressed people it's just some chemical imbalance, they just need to alter their thoughts to change it back, perhaps exercise a little to kick-start some neurons. This was my explanation, I wasn't trying to say that nobody benefited from it, I was trying to pinpoint more why I got annoyed.
So your objection never gave sense to me, I thought you were trying to say that such a, IMO, condescending view could be helpful because this and that. I thought you were doing the "both sides of the coin"- thingie you usually pull.
Read my third, I think, reply and you'll shit bricks.
Okay, I'm not trying to blame you, my language was inaccurate, I suppose. <----- "suppose"? is that admitting guilt?
To Minuend:
I understand where you come from in some respects. There was a time of my life where I had 8 or more anxiety attacks a day. I still experience anxiety.
You have to accept that the anxiety you face is a part of you, and as such is "normal for you". The act of fighting the anxiety "this is the anxiety, not me!" will only make any attack you have worse.
There is no "fix" that will make things better. It could take years of therapy, or rather, years of struggling with your own self awareness. It is a slow process of learning the symptoms, learning the causes, and letting the implication of these things set in. I went through a LONG period of time where I thought "Breathing exercises won't help me". Of course, this, in turn, only provoked my anxiety more since I had truly convinced myself that I couldn't breath. Furthermore, I thought that breathing would get rid of the anxiety - this in turn made breathing a tool to "fight" the anxiety with, which it is not supposed to be. Quite frankly I became a singer (opera) in order to more fully grasp control of the breath, since its regulation is necessary for me to function in any sort of stressful situation, especially in public.
Here's a list of things to think about. You can feel free to reject what I say, especialy if your anxiety has such a hold that you feel nothing can help you. Hopefully, if this is the case, the words will reach you at a time in your life when things are more calm.
This is what I did when I could not introspect enough to locate the causes of my anxiety:
1) Look for the "start" of attacks. In my experience I did not go from "functional" to "complete panic" with no intermediary. Finding this point is crucial. If you can't reach your feelings, go with your body. I put a lot of tension in my shoulders and feet/hamstrings. Everyone is probably different.
((For me, my anxiety is/was chronic. This meant that there were causes present mentally that I was unaware of. This made it easy for me to "tip the scale" so to say into an attack because I wasn't aware of previous anxieties. For example, I often hold my breath due to anxiety and am not aware of it. This deprives my body of oxygen, causing tension and clouding the mind. I was so out of touch with my mind and body that I did not notice this happening, and thus a small stimulus could seemingly send me into a full attack. This made it difficult at first to pinpoint "the causes". ))
2) Breath. Not to get rid of the anxiety, but to give your brain oxygen. When you lack oxygen it contracts muscles and sends the brain into a deeper panic. Remember that breathing happens from the diaphragm. If you store tension in your throat/neck/tongue as I did it can be very hard to breath. If you think "breath in, stomache out" you should be able to expand the diaphragm and get some air in, even if the opening it travels through is very small. You'll want your body out of the way for the next step.
3) Tell yourself that it is "OK" to be anxious. Fighting the anxiety WILL make things worse. You need to really be present in this step. Setting off an automated response to try to "counter" the anxiety is still trying to "correct the problem". There is no problem. You have a very unique mind, embrace it. (Note: I know this is easier said than done).
4) If you can get to this part, this is where you can start to ask yourself what is causing the anxiety. Once again, do not try to get RID of the anxiety, but come to accept it. If you can confront the thought while also letting your body know that it doesn't have to respond to it, this is when progress is made.
Once again, this will not "get rid" of your anxiety. I still face it every day. The difference is that I have, over the course of time, reduced its physical manifestation. This is something to work towards.
PS:I know you feel like this may be like telling a depressed person not to be depressed. The difference is that anxiety has distinct physical and mental divisions. You CAN learn to deal with the physical symptoms and it WILL be difficult. I highly reccomend physical activity - I personally derive no pleasure from group activity of this sort so I have a regiment of various body alignment techniques and other stretches, as well as a "no gym, no equitment" workout and core routine. I cannot reccomend body awareness exercises enough. If you can feel the tension growing in your body, it can help prevent an attack.
So your objection never gave sense to me, I thought you were trying to say that such a, IMO, condescending view could be helpful because this and that. I thought you were doing the "both sides of the coin"- thingie you usually pull.
Well, no. Didn't I put in a lot of personal references? I guessed you assumed I was talking rubbish or something.
Minuend said:
I find it condescending. Like I actually believe I'm going to die from irrational fear. No offence. This is the thing that bothers me
Knowing what anxiety is doesn't do any good at all. It's like telling depressed people it's just some chemical imbalance, they just need to alter their thoughts to change it back, perhaps exercise a little to kick-start some neurons. This was my explanation, I wasn't trying to say that nobody benefited from it, I was trying to pinpoint more why I got annoyed.
That's precisely why it bugged me. You phrased it as if you could speak for everyone. It was also offensive to anyone saying otherwise. It was like you were discounting my experience based on yours, and making assumptions about the veracity of my input based on very little information/even a misreading of the information I'd presented.
But I'm prone to that too. "You just have no idea what you're talking about." because we've heard it a million times and it's usually ignorant bs. It's an emotional response, as was my reaction.
Minuend said:
Read my third, I think, reply and you'll shit bricks.
Roughly. It's hard to judge, really, since on those days it was more a mix of "worse" attacks and "lesser" attacks. My tongue is hardly flexible, I had TMJ, and the tendons of my legs are hypertense. I often was in a state of panic without realizing I was panicked. I've spent the past few years restructuring my entire body, notably my neck which needs to be completely "rebuilt" since tension prevented muscle growth.
2 years ago I probably had about 1-2 attacks daily. A year ago I had one every week or so. Now I have one very rarely.
As I said. Becoming a singer, thus releasing the tension from the entire body and working with clarifying the inner senses, as well as analyzing the struggle of many poets and analyzing their subconsious expression through composition has helped immensely in managing my tensions, mentally and physically.
...........What does it not have to do with what you said? Nomenclature. I am agreeing with what you are saying, just stating the correct nomenclature to differentiate the different types of anxieties. GAD, panic disorder, panic disorder with agoraphobia, specific phobia. Much more descriptive.
The public thing wasn't meant to be a phobia, it was more the normal worry one have executing a public speech for the first time, more clearly defined in my previous post (which I now see have ridiculously many typos) :
Imagine for the first time performing a speech before 2000 people. That intense heart beat is present at pretty much any event when you have anxiety
I appreciate your concern, Closey. But as I mentioned, my anxiety has gone down drastically some time after I started on medication. It was my life saver. There's plenty of people here who suffer from anxiety, so rest assured your post was not in vain. I see now how big the difference is between being able to go grocery shopping just like that without a second thought, and dreading it like Cava's baking.
Also, I was probably too hard on Roni. I've been very unfocused, more whimsical than usual, slightly more irritated, and all my spelling errors. Sorry, tehn, Roni.
And cheese too, if she felt hurt. Seemed like she was getting a pulse there, which is an interesting change from the always objective-let's-look-at-this-from-another-angle-cheese.
My apologies Minuend - I posted immediately after you without making it clear I was addressing the OP.
Also I was still talking about normal flight/fight responses in this part of my post. I wouldn't tell someone experiencing a panic attack to just 'manage it'.
That's not how I read the OP though. He asked "what could be causing this sudden return of needless fear?" He's been through (big A) Anxiety before and I wanted to reassure him that (small A) anxiety is normal.
And yes, I was being condescending (addressing him as 'youngling' was a bit of a giveaway). DT is only 16. He may not know "real" (normal) fear if most of his experiences have had been labelled a Disorder.
I have been through this myself and I know how easily an ordinary heart palpitation can cause dread that the old terror is returning. But for me it happened much later in life so I have a basis for comparison. DT may not have that advantage and I wanted him to know getting nervous about a girl does not signal a return to illness.
Certainly his apparent sleep disturbance is perfectly normal for someone his age and not a reason to suspect Anxiety.
Nevertheless - my bad. He did also invite us to share our own experiences and I didn't make it clear I was only speaking as someone who's recovered to someone who's recovered, not commenting on Anxiety in general.
I've been living with anxiety for, well, as long as I can remember. I know that I was having anxiety attacks at about 8, because I can remember having one back then. I can also recall having the type of traumatic thoughts and feelings that are associated with panic attacks, at age 4, but it wasn't so much a panic attack, as a general feeling of "Oh, shit, I'm screwed either way".
I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD). If I think of it, I can get anxiety and panic attacks about it. For instance, I saw a book with a picture of a plane crashing into a skyscraper, back in the early 70s. Then later on, I wondered what would happen if a place came crashing into my flat window. I used to get anxiety attacks about that, and that's just the stuff that was relatively easy to deal with.
They are better with medication. But for me, it's a bit like a shot of whisky. It keeps you mellow. But anything that triggers a strong response, wipes out the effect of the medication, and instantly brings me back to panic attack status.
I was quite surprised, though, to see so many people taking medication, and saying how it helped their panic attacks. I know of a few centres, where mentall illy people go. Going there resembles a morgue. Everyone there is just zonked out.
So maybe I haven't got quite the full picture. Maybe there are a whole raft of people who are on SSRIs, who I've never seen. Maybe the others are the ones who SSRIs didn't work so well on. Maybe I'm just another person were SSRIs don't work so well, but just the other way.
Alcohol seems to have no effect on my inhibitions either. I pass out or puke before I lose them. I gather that almost everyone else does find alcohol loosens their inhibitions. So my subconscious has a pretty firm grip on me, much stronger than most people. So that might be why SSRIs don't work that well on me. If SSRIs work on me like alcohol does, I'd be in a coma before my anxieties would go away.
I found a course of CBT on "Catastrophising", really helped me. Here, they test you on your levels of anxiety, etc, the week when therapy starts, and the week when it ends. I went from 41/50 to 14/50, from 82% to 28%. Personally, I think that one was a milestone for me. One of the few times when therapy really made a difference. My anxiety levels dropped like a stone.
I still get anxiety attacks. But the days of banging on my head or my leg, till the physical pain numbs me from the emotional agony, are extremely rare, and I used to get that several times a day.
I get those during finals week, and I'm usually running on adrenaline the entire time. I hate that time though, I'm like thinking non-stop about school or work, I tend to procrastinate even more, OCD becomes well defined, I put things off a lot that causes so much more trouble in the future (which I later hide from), and I transform into this soulless robotic mechanoid FREAK
Didn't see this thread for a few weeks because of a holiday. Lots of interesting discussions...
For me, what usually helps is researching the causes and symptoms of anxiety, then exercising, and keeping busy with things like movies and talking to people.
Anyways, xbox, I have no solution for that... I have a habit of becoming completely stressed out and procrastinating as well during exams.
I also have panic attacks, but they go together with bipolar disorder. If you feel that panic attack is coming you should breathe into a small paper bag, because panic attacks usually makes you breathe much more and deeper than normally and there is too much oxyen in your body. Breathing into a small paper bag helps you to calm down 'cause you are basically breathing CO2.
It doesn't help for me, I'm just too nervous and I think I kind of like panic attacks. I always laugh and cry at the same time when I have it. And it's funny because I usually never cry and I enjoy the feeling how it seems like I'm dying and can't feel my hands anymore. If I don't take Xanax or breathe in the bag it may go on like this for two hours.
I somewhat know what you mean. It feels kind of like some sort of dissociative high. The panic attacks themselves are anywhere between 30 minutes and 2 hours, but the depersonalization(at least for me) can go on for days.
I'm usually too scared to observe what I'm doing though, I definitely can't 'enjoy' it like you do. I just panic and hope I wake up out of a dream soon. Whenever I have a panic attack I just want to flee so badly. Flee from everything, because everything feels threatening and 'too much'.
I was thinking of starting a new thread, but I found this so decided to just continue here instead.
I've had problems for years with generalised anxiety disorder. I just came to a realisation about it late last year, up until then I've always made excuses for my problems by telling myself it's just my introvertedness or whatever, or making rationalisations about things to ignore the symptoms altogether. But in the end I still struggle, and I've always known the physical symptoms are just psychosomatic, and anxiety was the inevitable answer.
The problem is that the disorder itself makes it difficult to approach people to talk about it, I should get professional help rather than just talking about it on the internet, but whenever I think about setting things in motion I always start procrastinating instead and just put it off. Even just writing about it here in a place I'm comfortable has taken enough effort.
You could try this - put your hands together as if you are praying. Slowly slide them over your face until your nose and mouth are in the space between your hands (do not let your fingertips or hands come apart - you want to form a seal over your mouth and nose).
Slowly breath in and out for 2 to 3 breaths. The increased amount of carbon dioxide in subsequent breaths may help if your heart is racing and you are receiving too much oxygen.
You might also want to try to take up and learn relaxation exercises as well. They can be helpful if you are anxious.
Try to slow things down if youu can and just be. Focus on yourself and your breathing.
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And then a year or two later I found out that my crazed thoughts didn't imply any horrible darkness or propensity towards insanity (two of my big fears), but were a *result* of the anxiety. Knowing all this helped me relax a little about it, and also showed me how I might approach/attack it (by understanding its roots). 
)
